Reply To: Accepted? Or Tolerated?

Kele Motshwane

I feel like I am tolerated and not fully accepted by my family, I will give you an example of why I say so I have been told that I am capable of using one hand to do chores around the house and it frustrates me to think that before the stroke I was able to do a lot of things by myself for my family and now that I can’t do things like washing dishes the way that I want them to be done. I am fortunate though to have my helper who was supposed to have retired at the end of the year I had the stroke and she decided to stay saying that she can’t leave me when I still need help with a lot of things.  She is very understanding and caring and she is more like a mother to me whenever I share my frustration with her about not being able to do certain things she is always there to say that when I was hospitalized they all prayed for my life to be spared and she is grateful that I am alive and tries her utmost best to make me feel comfortable. She is also like a counselor because she allows me to share my feelings with her and she encourages me to carry on and not allow certain things to get to me.I thank the person who raised this question as it got me to open up about something that hasn’t been sitting well with me lately and trying to talk about how some of these make me feel I am told that I like to always see myself as a victim so I keep a lot of things bottled up. I do a lot of work with strangers listening to their problems and helping them to work through their issues. I also do a lot of introspection like am I doing this work because it makes me feel good afterwards to be told that my intervention has helped a lot of people to look at their lives differently and even not consider suicide as an option anymore. I sometimes ask myself am I doing all that because I want to feel that I am not useless to the world and I am still able to contribute by giving others hope when their lives are bleak.