Guilt is my concern with the stroke - Strokefocus Member Services

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May 30, 2020 at 12:42 am #36415

Joyce Hoffman
Participant

I’ll wake up and feel guilty that I put my family members through such an ordeal, and I’ll feel that way until I go to bed. Then a week or less later, I’ll feel the same way. Guilt has going on for five years now, but I didn’t do anything stupid like drugs or gambling or being overweight. Stroke is a horrible condition, but there’s nothing that I did to give a stroke. How do I get rid of feeling guilty for five years?
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- Joyce Hoffman
  Participant
  
  #36429
  May 30, 2020 at 4:19 am
  
  Thanks, Daniel. Your words comfort me.
- Strokefocus Admin
  Participant
  
  #36426
  May 29, 2020 at 7:28 pm
  
  Joyce Hoffman wrote:
  
  George, your words warm my heart. Thank you for your kindness.
  
  Joyce, think how many unique blogs you have written. You are one of the world’s top 10 stroke bloggers. Only 3 survivors made to the top 10 list. The other 7 are institutions like American Stroke Association, World Stroke Organization and UK Stroke Association. Your work is a treasure trove for survivors worldwide.
  - Elinor Lowry
    Participant
    
    #56622
    December 10, 2022 at 2:59 am
    
    Please keep talking, Joyce. it is a great comfort to others out there. Thank you! Stroke makes situations difficult, which I think creates space for guilt and accusations, but calling it out makes survivors check if they are suffering from unnecessary guilt …. and makes us carers ask ourselves whether we are perpetuating that in any way.
- George Scola
  Participant
  
  #36424
  May 30, 2020 at 3:27 am
  
  You are welcome Joyce.
  Be more kind to yourself as you cannot blame yourself for having a stroke.
  
  Sent from my iPhone
- Joyce Hoffman
  Participant
  
  #36421
  May 30, 2020 at 3:17 am
  
  George, your words warm my heart. Thank you for your kindness.
- George Scola
  Participant
  
  #36419
  May 30, 2020 at 2:55 am
  
  Joyce, my understanding of guilt is committing an act with purpose and intent, something which one has complete control over.
  Having a stroke, is certainly an act which I am sure you did not purposely or intentionally choose, meaning is was not something you could control.
  So you should not feel guilty about something that you had zero control over.
  However, you are in complete control over your recovery, thus choosing to feel guilty about something you had zero control over, is being totally unfair to yourself and your recovery.
  Having a stroke is not something you should feel guilty about.
  
  Sent from my iPhone
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